Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Microsoft's OpenAI partnership is fraying at the seams - Axios

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What disturbed you today?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What is the story of how you met your spouse?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What made you feel satisfied about your life today?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why do people with trauma easily recognize other people with trauma through eye contact?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What is the best time for conception?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Have you ever seen a woman having sex with a dog?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

What should I expect after a BBL surgery?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

If you cloned 12 Michael Jordan's and 12 LeBron James' and had Team Jordan vs. James, which team would win the most games?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

How do people move on so quickly? I’m still sprung over someone I was dating and he found someone else so fast. I feel hurt because I’m still head over heels over him while he’s out enjoying his life with someone new

I see through liars

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

How did Madri, mother of Nakula and Sahadeva die?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I can count

I have a reading level above third grade

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I can read

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane